What would happen if I put myself first for 30 days?


Let's cover one thing first - this has NOTHING to do with my husband not doing enough. I could list a million reasons why its not about him (i.e. he's the only reason the kids and I have eaten today), but that is not the point of this post.

So read it again (this has NOTHING to do with my husband not doing enough) and accept it.

 

Back to my point... What if I committed to putting myself first for 30 days? There are 30 day plank challenges, 30 day cleanses, 30 day organization challenges, 30 days of Pinterest worthy lunches to prove I am the best mom who loves her children the most challenges (I'm not even judging - did you see the Hunger Games and Princess Tea Party Birthday Parties I just threw?). What about a challenge that isn't a distraction from my inability to make myself a priority?

There, I said it. I am a failure at making myself a priority. I know I should. I know I struggle with anxiety, depression, eating my feelings, and yelling at my family. And even still, I cannot get up each day and do things that feed my soul. I do things that if left undone feed my sense of inadequacy. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, creating complex activities for the kids that they ultimately ruin (because they are normal children). Why can't I accept that the laundry will never be done and give the kids a box of dollar store chalk?

Don't get me wrong - I am much better than I used to be. I don't try to curate every life experience anymore, but the fact that I ever thought I could is a little terrifying. That realization also makes me optimistic that I can keep changing.

So here goes. For 30 days, I am going to put myself first. I am going to do things that feed my soul and start treating the other nonsense as an after thought (you know, like I have been treating myself for a decade). I am going to meditate, exercise, pet the goats, read to the kids, go on a date with my husband, go to dinner with friends. I am going to be kind to myself when I forget and find myself stressing about dusting the baseboards and reorganizing the plastic container cabinet (just kidding I NEVER reorganize the plastic container cabinet).

I am not waiting until tomorrow or September 1st or some other arbitrary date. I am starting today. In fact I already started. I have been wanting to launch this blog for months but never made the time. Until today. Now I am going to go teach the girls cross stitch and burn the unwashed laundry. We all have too much clothing anyway.

#selfcare #30days #motherhood